09-06-2013 Leggo my Ego

I didn’t realize how long it has been since I last blogged!! This term has been off to a much smoother beginning, and as we prepare for the official opening, and to welcome the Minister of Education and possibly the President of Namibia, we keep very busy.  Vision continues to get shipments of materials, and we are really operating at full tilt! We’ve got the SmartBoards up and running, all of the teachers have new laptops running Windows 8, and we transitioned right into the term-one round of our biweekly tests is already finished.  The learners have been much less panicked this term, which has been a blessing. 

This term has also seen many egos bruised, broken and fighting to regain ground.  We have the Ministry representatives pushing us to perform well, the principal fighting to open this school at a calculated and planned pace, the student council trying to get their feet under them and provide entertainment to the learners and maintain discipline in the courtyard, the teachers balancing their personal lives with the high commitment to their jobs required at this school, and the management team setting and resetting the time table for the school in attempts to appease everyone.  No one is immune to ego flair ups, and everyone is on edge as we prepare for our second visit from the Ministry this week. I am no exception.

It seems to me that so much angst would be cleared away if people communicated their needs and plans calmly.  I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but it seems that instead of addressing concerns calmly and quickly, many of the teachers here are quick to anger and storm.  Those of you who know me well know that this is not a good environment for me, as I am not exactly a serene person.  Before coming to Namibia, when I was living at home, I was really working on fixing tone habits I’ve had for my whole life—loud and pissy sounding, even in the most unnecessary of situations.  I have acknowledged this shortcoming in myself, and I’ve been actively trying to correct it for a long time.  Occasionally I have experienced progress toward presenting myself in tones of voice that befit the situation.  Here, though, I find I am surrounded by people just like me.  In a time when I was hoping to change, I find myself feeling like a person trying to quit smoking while surrounded by smokers.  Thank goodness I have strong friends in WorldTeach and stateside who help remind me that I just need to be mindful in the present moment and breathe.

I am hoping to remedy some of the issues through the proper channels—schools here find the order and bureaucracy to be very important.  So I will try to fix problems by writing official letters, setting up meetings with agendas, sign off on minutes from previous meetings, and hopefully get some things done. 

And when that doesn’t work, I’m going to go play with the learners.  Camp games in P.E., get them exposed to scholarship and travel opportunities in Life Skills (and possibly Odyssey of the Mind), get silly acting and dancing on stage, making messes in art class.  Because that’s what I came here to do. Not to get caught up in egomania or tone-escalating.

I want to give kids a chance to be kids and a chance to be effective adults with a broad world-view.