Two More Tuesdays

Tuesdays are great days for me! They're my "Teaching Tip Tuesday" day, so I get to hear from lots of volunteers, which is always great, a full suite of classes in the morning to keep me busy, nap in the afternoon, and then the afternoon classes. Now let me tell you, I don't have favourites.  But if I did, 8B art class, 8C pe and arts club would be them.

8B is simply hilarious.  We're drawing designs for T shirts for a printer in SA, and I was asked, "Miss, can I draw a butt?" How can you not just love that? "No. No, you cannot draw a butt." "But Miss! I wanted to write 'Wiggle' across it." *Thank you Derulo and Snoop...* "There's a rule in this: you can't use words. You know that's out. And no butts, either. Just to be clear."

Following 8B Arts, I pop next door to cue up 8C and we head outside.  These kids (yes, the same class from CTF), are SO committed to having fun and moving.  It's inspiring! They're involved, they're excited, they listen, they GET INTO IT. Diving in with both feet.  Not that other classes don't do this, but these kids put 300% into PE (and all things they do).  We're kickboxing this month, and I told them, "Kickboxing is all about control of your body and your emotions, so if you lose control, you'll have to sit out." One kid accidentally kind of swiped the girl's head in front of him, and he was so upset at the thought of missing a set.  But he sat out quietly and hopped right back up when I said he could.  Later in the class, I had them design sets as a group, and oh MAN, Paulus's face. I wish I had my camera to show you all his grunt face.  SO. INTO. IT. I can't wait to learn their moves next week!

Then I rush back to school for Arts Club. Today was our first day.  We talked about the different types of art we wanted to do. Cartooning, landscapes, portraits, and still lifes.  Cool.  So we started with landscapes today, and the grade 11 boys were really paying attention and producing some cool stuff already! I'm excited to see where this goes!

Today (even though I got up on the wrong side of the bed to begin with) was amazing. And I'm really looking forward to making the absolute most out of next Tuesday!

I only have two Tuesdays left here at RVS. I'm heading to Windhoek at the beginning of October to take on a new role in WorldTeach as the Field Director for the Namibia program.  I couldn't be more excited at the prospect of helping strengthen our partnership with the Ministry of Education and help volunteers navigate the world of volunteer teaching in Namibia.  And have my own apartment, and access to fresh fruit and a pool.

But I am going to miss the people at this school with the entirety of my heart.  They planted this seed of love in my heart in January, from when three little, shy girls came up and introduced themselves as Regina, Rebecca and Ida.  Now these girls, and their friends, are some of the most outgoing, inspiring, brilliant young ladies and gentlemen I know.  To quote the Ninth Doctor- "I don't want to go!"  But I know I must, as he did, and grow myself into my new role and let the school evolve, too.

CTF! CTF!

I have played Capture the Flag with all of my Phys Ed classes, and today, in honour of the FIRST CAMPER TRIBE SORTING OF THE SUMMER at CAMP HAWKEYE, a place that so quickly became a part of my soul, we played today in PE with grade 8C.

And let me tell you, they were AWESOME. They loved it. Laughing and chasing each other, and winning and losing with grace and an HONESTY that I truly didn't expect from that group.  When negative expectations are broken, it's even better than positive ones being met! My heart hurts from loving so much and laughing so hard.  They blew my mind with their pure, unadulterated childhood.

AND we got to chase away the grade 11s. They came late to PE, so they don't get the field!

Kindred Spirits

Kindred spirits are interesting things.  No two people are exactly the same, and that’s what makes humans a beautiful species.  But sometimes, you find a person who just “gets you.” I don't think I believe in a singular kindred spirit that exists in one other person, like a soul mate.  The idea of kindred spirits is more transient than that.  In any given moment, your "other half" could be that girl on the dance floor who you have a blast with, smiling and dancing in sync the whole night.  Could be that colleague who you work really well and really hard with and then go home for tea and moan and feel self-righteous with about how hard you work compared to other colleagues.  Could be that colleague who feels as much pain as you do when he sees learners who are ill, or lonely, or sad.  Could be that woman in the combi who you share a seat with for 6 hours from Rundu to Divundu, and you feel exhausted, frustrated, but also somehow accomplished together.  Could be those learners who you are about to ask to do something, and you turn around, and they’re already doing it.  Could be that PCV who is so ambitious and who pushes you to set strong goals for yourself.  Could be that teacher who you can sit and plan a week’s worth of lessons in an hour with, because you are aware of the content and the best way to teach it.  Could be that man you can sit next to and read with until both of your eyes start to close after a long day.  Could be that little girl who you went to camp with when you were 11 and you still are thankful for her introducing you to the best place in the world.  Could be that farmer who you pull a calf into this world with.  Could be that young woman you met the first day of college who became your best friend.  Could be that colleague who pushes you to a whole new level on the tennis courts.  Could be that life guard who also has a heart attack with you every time he hears an air horn because of one too many missing camper drills.  Could be that little girl who is as Alive Alert Awake and Enthusiastic as you at seven in the morning.  Could be that young man who just wants to sit and be quiet with you for hours. And in those moments, you bond, connect; then the moment shifts.

And the crazy thing about all these spirits is that they’re American; they're brown; they’re Namibian; they're white; they’re Zimbabwean; they’re Indian; they’re Nigerian; they're black; they're yellow, red, blue, green; they’re people.  

Special Education

Part of my role as the WorldTeach teaching fellow is that I get to provide teaching support for the other volunteers.  After helping with orientation and our midservice conference, this basically consists of a mass text once a week for "Teaching Tip Tuesday." But sometimes, volunteers ask me for help with various issues they're facing in their classrooms, and it's always really rewarding to hear about stress turned success in their lives.  

That happened this week with one volunteer who is struggling with four learners documented with learning disabilities.  However, there is not any sort of system in Namibian schools for providing consistent support to these learners.  The structures in place in New York schools, like individualized education plans, case managers and resource rooms simply do not exist here.  These learners mostly get ignored and pushed along.   But for the volunteer, this wasn't good enough. He couldn't sit by and not help these learners in some way.  We talked it out for a long while, and he revealed more about these kids.  They're nonverbal in their home language and in English.  So I suggested drawing and colouring for these learners, since they always end up doodling anyway.  Their pictures can even be related to the work that is being done in class--colouring simple nouns etc. 

The volunteer bravely was worried that this wouldn't be enough for these kids, and I responded with one of the saddest things I think I could have thought of: Anything you do with these kids is probably more than they're getting outside of your class. 

Positively, though, he took my advice, and the feedback today was that the drawing went really well! I'm proud of the kids, proud of the vol and proud of myself! 

Disappointments and Proud Moments

Yesterday was a disappointment, and today, I was proud.

We had visitors come to the school yesterday to talk to our learners about "Saving the Rhino." They brought a very inspiring message about how important biodiversity is to environments, and how important the environment (especially the diversity found in Namibia) is great for the economy.  They also spoke about how inhumane and unsustainable rhino poaching is. Then the visitors had the learners draw pictures of rhinos to send to Vietnam, where people purchase rhino horn, to show the "Voices of the African Children" speaking up for the rhino.  The best drawing also won a bicycle!!

All in all, the kids had lots of fun and got to take tons of pictures and draw and take part in a mission to help their country's natural resources.  They also lost 3 hours of classes and their focus for the rest of the day.  Now I'm not saying that the goals of sustainability, conservation or ecology are bad. I think they are very important things.  But if you're going to come to a school to talk to children about these issues, then please be more empowering for the children who are there.  The undertones of the visit was "us-getting-our-drawings-from-you-is-more-important-than-whatever-teaching-you-were-planning-to-do-today," instead of "let's-work-together-to-get-these-kids-psyched-about-the-environment."  I think that what bothered me most about it was that the kids didn't get that subtle message.  And they're kids, so why would they? They're going to enjoy the drawing and the attention while it's there.

But there is a silver lining that the learners here are starting to ask the bigger questions.  Today, I was sitting in on a Life Skills class in which they were discussing marriage, laws and tradition.  The teacher said something along the lines of two men or two women cannot get married because it's wrong. One learner from the back raised his hand, and asked, "But why?" The teacher responded, "Because it's illegal." "But why?" The teacher, shocked, retorted, "Are you questioning the law?" and to my immense pleasure and pride, seven or so learners responded, "Yeah!" There was no response to them, except a beaming smile on my face.

I know that this questioning of the system is a generally Western thing to do, and I'm not sure how it will effect blossoming countries like Namibia, but I hope it would effect things positively.  I am so proud of my learners.  If only adults would learn this, too.

General Update

I know I have been silent lately, and I apologize! Things are going along smoothly this term.  I'm working on getting some of the tasks I do to become more systematic within the school, and thanks to understanding management, I think it's working! Life Science and Biology are going really well, and my coteacher is a-maaaah-zing! We teach one week on-one week off switching between the two subjects, so she'll teach Grade 11 Bio, while I'm teaching Grade 8 Life Science.  It's working quite beautifully, and we're definitely able to get a lot done in both classes.

The sports teacher has been very proactive, and we've had a number of internal soccer games under the lights on Saturday night! That makes me miss football and lacrosse so so much.  We're having another school come to play our soccer team next weekend: our first competition  with another school.

I'm working with my director, Fritz, to get auditions going for a play.  We're hoping to put it on in a month's time.

Things have become very routine here and comfortable.  I really love the ease and regularity with which things happen these days. And all of our learners have finally received their uniforms so they're all lookin' sharp!

And I'm not letting stress get to me this term. Firstly, because there is a lot less stress in general, now that I'm not filling in for people who aren't here yet.  Having a full staff makes life much easier for everyone! Secondly, because I've started to distance myself from things a bit, to prepare the teachers for life without  me.  Not in a cocky-I-do-everything-and-now-I'm-sick-of-it way, but a I'm-not-around-much-longer way.  I take more weekends away from school, and I find a lot more time to relax.

Good times, good times.

UPDATES! Happy Namibian Independence Day!

RVS has experienced two major changes this year: double the learners, and almost double the teachers.  Our family is growing! The new learners are a riot.  I’m teaching new Grade 8 learners art and Life Science, and man, are they smart! This week, we’re preparing for gardening at the beginning of next term.  One of the things we look at is soil pH.  They really only need to know that pH exists, but class 8C was all “what’s pH, Miss?” and so we got really into it.  And then after 40 minutes, they were explaining to each other how negatively charged minerals in the soil could be held out of the root system by acids, and drawing diagrams on the board.  Seriously?! These kids are 13. And they ask questions. Good questions, not just “Miss, may I use the toilet?”

Speaking of “using the toilet,” I went home for my brother’s wedding. Bad transition, I know, but bear with me.  It’s really interesting to go back and forth to the States.  The last time I went, I made concerted efforts to tone down my Namlish, but this time, I was only in the States for 4.5 days, so it was not worth it for me.  Out for drinks with a bunch of Chicago friends, I said, “Oh let me just run to the toilet,” and I fully did not understand why everyone was laughing.  At least I didn’t say “ablutions.” 

The wedding was absolutely a blast! Mike and Kate are so incredibly happy, and the party was amazing! Great beer, fun dancing (though no P Square—Kate, we still have to find the person who took all the P Square off your wedding playlist!), great food, the best people anyone could wish for, all in one place. 

And then somewhat tearful goodbyes and heading back to Windhoek. 

Upon my return from my two week hiatus from school, I was told that the head office would be coming for an official visit to assist with the progress of this school.  Last year, this visit was very stressful, to say the least, so the Sunday I arrived was hectic.  Everyone was a bit on edge, not knowing quite what to expect this time around. 

It couldn’t have been more pleasant or helpful.  The biology department had a supervisor from the curriculum development teams in Windhoek, and he was remarkable! He brought us so many resources and we had great discussions about assessment strategies, problem based learning, inquiry based learning and team-centered teaching approaches.  It was like being back in my Masters program—geeking out over teaching.  It was a blast! Overall, it was a crazy first week back, with the visit and preparing for Independence. 

Today was Namibian Independence Day.  This morning, the learners and teachers came together for songs, poems, skits and speeches about the day and the history.  It’s interesting, because it’s so fresh for so many people.  All of the teachers were around when Independence for Namibia was gained in 1990, so they find it really important to get the “born frees” to try and imagine what a lack of independence even means. Because they know. 

After the formal morning celebrations, we had a really relaxed/busy day with sports and dancing, and now, in the evening, the learners are back to study, because, as the principal reminded us this morning, Independence isn’t a one-off thing.  To paraphrase his speech from the morning: Namibians must continue to earn it and fight to keep it every day through hard work and education, because now the fight is for economic freedom.

Personal Thoughts on Freedom and Independence

NB: This is a personal thoughts post, not reflective of the official opinions of RVS or WorldTeach (none of my posts are!).  It’s also slightly a personal confession, rather than a glance into my day-to-day interactions at RVS.

                Today is Namibian Independence Day, so as a school, we have been celebrating with many discussions on freedom and what independence means to people.  In 1990, it meant freedom from political and social oppression for Namibian people.  Today, it means freedom from economic hardship and suppression in Namibia. 

                For me, though, it means freedom from sadness. This past year, to put it in Namibian terms, I have been “suffering.”  Even when everything little thing is gonna be alright, my heart was sad.  Like a tight knot in my chest, bringing me close to tears about seventy percent of the time.  It was all I could do to greet people some days.  And I felt guilty about it all the time.  I’m surrounded by children who have lost both parents, have lost siblings, have no food to eat at home, nor soap to bathe with.  And yet, they manage to smile and soldier on, hopeful of a bright and happy future for them.  What reasons do I have to cry? It’s not fair of me to be sad, when I’m surrounded by so much hope in such dismal conditions. 

                But in the words of Princess Elsa, I am starting to be able to “let it go.”  The guilt, the heavy heart and the worry.  I am listening to my brain, which is telling me that things are going to work out, and every little mistake is not always my fault.  I was drowning in guilt from silly little mistakes, instead of learning from them and moving on.  I was drowning in anger at others, instead of learning from them and moving on.  I was constantly worried about what would happen next, instead of allowing the future to take its course and moving in the moment. 

                I am stronger for it, now.  And happier for it, now.  And more appreciative of it, now.

                My mind is strong enough to tell my heart, “Everything is going to be alright.” And my heart is strong enough to listen. I am free.

Flexibility

This weekend has been all about flexibility.  Saturday, the Learner Representative Council arranged a really amazing performance of singers and dancers and speakers to welcome the newest members of our Rukonga community.  Starting on Wednesday, groups were registered to perform, and our LRCs were so on top of everything, that the program was set on Friday night.  This is something which usually doesn’t happen until about 30 minutes before the event.  All of the groups’ music was planned for and prepared before afternoon study on Saturday (again, something which is usually super last minute).  Everything was smooooooooth sailing.  I couldn’t have been more proud of the LRCs and group members for their preparation and forward thinking. 
 

But nothing can go that smoothly. 

Dinner came, and some of the LRCs were busily setting up the audio equipment.  But the connection between the amplifier and computer wasn’t working properly.  Trouble shoot: OK how about this computer? What if we turn it this way? Let’s take off the tape and see if we can put it back together. Nope. Damn.

Back-up plan: Microphone sitting on the table in front of two small speakers.  Worked like a dream… sort of. Only we couldn’t quite get things loud enough for the dancers to hear sometimes, and the rapping was out—because the microphone was occupied.  Although one learner did hold the small speaker in his hand with the mic, so that he was rapping with the speaker in his face.  That was hilarious.  But everyone did a remarkable job.  And the learners in the audience were respectful and sweaty and sharing water bottles with each other.  A pretty beautiful evening, overall. 

Which was really good preparation for today, because we woke up with no power.  This happens a lot on Sundays in Kavango.  Throughout the day, old and new students were totally on top of their time! Very few late comers to the dining hall, study periods or hostels (dorms).  Even without too much water for drinking, the learners were content to work and play.  Around seven, the power usually comes back on when these outages happen.  But today it took an extra hour.  Even through that hour, (dark, now), learners were laughing, studying, hanging out. Without showers, phone calls home, or washing which usually happens at this time, they were prepared for the long haul.  They were ready to fetch water from the river, if needed. 
 

But (obviously) the power did come back on, and still, the learners were patient! It was like Christmas when the water started flowing.  But the girls were patient. Toilets were flushed and water bottles were filled, but showers waited. Washing waited.  And now they’re all calling home without complaining to parents, just smiling faces talking to their loved ones.

I know a lot of these issues are not new to these kids, or don’t sound like a big deal to readers at home.  But I am constantly impressed by these learners’ never-ending flexibility and ability to push themselves in novel situations and rebound from setbacks.  They’re inspiring.

Teachers here are also flexible.  As we finish our hiring process for 2014, we are currently short a lot of teachers in the classrooms.  But was is so impressive is the willingness of all teachers to step up and teach extra courses, subjects and classes in the afternoons and evenings, sacrificing personal time for the sake of these learners' education.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive group of colleagues to work with here. 

End of Orientation is the Beginning

Orientation this year was eye opening for me, again.  This new group of volunteers has so much spirit and energy and dedication, and I am so incredibly excited to see all of the wonderful work each is able to accomplish.  I feel like I’ve continued to grow as a person, this orientation, discovering weaknesses and strengths and learning from mistakes.  As the volunteers left this morning (Kavango picked us up last, of course), it was so bittersweet.  After such a long three weeks together, we’re all headed out into our own adventures.  We’ll integrate into our communities and make new friends.  We’ll focus on our communities’ needs and teaching our kids. We’ll stay in touch.

I think the major thing I’ve learned this OR was that it’s not about me.  I tried to focus on giving to others so that the program can be successful.  I don’t need to be the center of attention and that is a really refreshing place to be.  I’m hoping I can continue in this mind set at my school, where I am focused on the needs of the school, and not necessarily what I think the school needs.  It leaves me more relaxed and able to actually make things happen.  I'll be teaching Grade 8 Life Science and Grade 8 and 9 Arts this year!  I'm going to use Ahlquist-style organizers/summaries for note taking, which I'm really psyched about doing.  I think it'll be really good to have the learners generating their own notes, because usually here what happens is the teacher will write out a summary of a topic on the board, and the learners will copy it down, so making them go to the textbook and write out the information in a way that makes sense to them will be really helpful (I hope!).

Leaving Windhoek was hard this morning.  The volunteers scattering around the country, and friends staying in Windhoek are difficult to say goodbye to.  But I am excited for that feeling I get every time I walk through the gate to the girls’ hostels. That feeling of pride in my learners and belonging in my school.

PS: This part is mostly for last year’s vols.  WT2013, I miss you all like crazy!! This year’s volunteers wrote Bret a song and sang it to him at the goodbye dinner. Hilarious.  It will be posted soon. J Additionally, it’s super interesting how adding men to the group of volunteers changes the group dynamic.  It’s super refreshing to have more male humor and presence around. I think it created a more social group from the beginning, because people we’re afraid to go out and stuff from earlier on in OR.  And these volunteers are super-de-duper.  But I don’t have anyone to sing Granite State of Mind with, or reminisce about Ithaca with, or geek out about Dewey or Montessori with, or share every day ups and downs with, or I can go back and forth between wanting to be a social worker and teacher with, or whose insanely good trip planning skills I can take advantage of for a month. I love you all so much!  

New Year’s Blog: Reflections and Resolutions

Over this year, I’ve learned a lot, and I think I’ve grown a lot as a person.  I’ve learned how important positivity is with people.  All people.  Being home, I think I was more able to apply some of the positivity and patience I apply in the classroom with my family.  That’s a really good sign, for me, because it means that I may be more capable of applying it to the more professional interactions in my life.  I’ve struggled with that forever, but maybe that’s changing. 

I made some really amazing friends.  I think I forget about that because they were often really far away from me, but the other volunteers in my group are amazing individuals, and I’ve loved getting to know them and travel with them and be a part of this crazy adventure with them.  I’m really sad that they won’t be there, but as the Girl Scout song goes, “Make new friends, but keep the old…” I’m resolving here and now to be excited about the new volunteers and not compare anything to last year: not try to find “This Year’s Abby” or “Jenn 2014” or “Jamie2.0” or “KSaddRemixed.” And instead just be excited for Namibz2014. 

I’m also going to resolve to chill out a bit, and not be high strung.  Listen, smile, and breathe more, and stress-cry less.  2014 has a lot of potential. I’m going to be stronger-willed without being antagonistic, more goal-directed, with understanding, positive, and patient.  Let’s do this!

Holiday!

I’ve been away from blogging! Sorry!! A quick update on my actual life before reflecting and resolving: I was in Windhoek for three weeks working with our field director to plan the upcoming orientation for the incoming volunteers.  It was amazing, and I feel like I was doing something I’m good at, which has left me so incredibly excited for the orientation which starts tomorrow!

Being home was incredible.  I was welcomed in the Rochester airport by my wonderful family, including my brother and his fiancé who came to visit from Chicago. My parents threw a huge house warming party for their new home. We fit right in there! I substitute taught a few days, and got all my doctor appointments out of the way.

Substitute teaching reminded me of some things.  I forgot how incredible patience is for kids.  I was subbing for an elementary music teacher, so I had a rotation of all of the grades K-5.  First off, K-2^nd grade: A-dor-able.  3^rd and 4^th grade were excited and enthusiastic and we sang holiday songs.  But 5^th grade.  They were off the walls bonkers crazy. So many classified kids/kids with IEPs and just general sub-at-a-holiday-hyperness.  I couldn’t even get TO attendance. I was NOT about to just put a movie in for these kids.  So instead, I turned off the lights and we did some breathing.  Then I had them play that team building game where as a group, people count to a given number (10, in this case), without repeating or simultaneous counting. If two people say the same number at the same time, the whole group has to start over again.  It was working! Quite well, if I do say so myself.  And in that game, a remarkable thing happened.  One of the kids was clearly on the autism spectrum, and he REALLY didn’t want the class playing this game.  So first, I pulled him aside (because the class was pretty much running itself by this point), and asked what I could do to make the game more manageable for him.  But he lost it, and ran into the middle of the circle to stop the rest of the class.  The rest of the class was wonderful.  The kids acknowledged that he was having a problem, but didn’t let it really interfere.  There was a lot of, “It’s ok. Just sit out for a bit, but the teacher asked us to do this, and that’s what we need to do” and “Everything is safe and fine. Just take a minute for yourself” and the like.  It was one of those shining moments for inclusion where everyone is helping everyone else learn something about people.  I liked that.

I also got a few good swims in at the WAC while I was home!

Christmas was great. Lots of laughing and family time, and the Legends still got together for a gift exchange which has been happening for a long, long time.  While we were missing a few, everyone managed to at least Skype in for a bit and contribute.  Pretty cool that we can still manage to organize a get together of 15 friends from high school.  And I got to see HANNAH!!!  And Sara and Ben got engaged and I saw them.  (ok this is spiraling)  All in all, the trip home was super necessary and an absolute joy.

Thankfulness

I know this is a bit late, but I wanted to give thanks for so many things in my life.  First, the people.

My parents are unbelievable.  They support me, emotionally and… well… financially, and they don’t make me feel ashamed of needing them on both counts.  In fact, I’m proud that my parents stand behind me, because I know that what I am doing is good if folks like them believe in it.  I love you both so much.

My brothers are such rockstars.  I am so lucky to have such a diverse trio of bros backing me up, and who let me back them up whenever I am able.   

My grandparents, though I only have one left living, have been inspirational and a guiding presence in my life.  Growing up is really cool, because you realize the impact amazing people have had on your whole life.  I’m excited to tell my kids someday about what awesome grandparents I have, but for now, I’ll settle for telling everyone else (friends, strangers, whoever will listen) about how cool you are.

Friends and family world-wide are lovers, haters, ballers, shot callers, and ah-wey, mann, ‘ya keep me going.  This year has been so hard to stay in touch, and I am so thankful for all of the extra effort people have been willing to put into talking to me—waking up early to Skype, Facebook, staying up late to Skype, flying across the world—thank you!

My learners.   I am the luckiest teacher in the world to have such an amazing group of 240 learners.  I know that I talk about how much I love you all the time, and it’s always true.  You are brilliant, and I am so proud to hear about all of your end-of-year results! I am overflowing with pride in you (but I’m also not at all surprised)!  Love you all to bits and pieces, now go to bed!

 

I am also incredibly thankful to the powers that be for all I have learned this year. A brief list of lessons I am thankful to have learned:

1.       My brain operates very quickly, with very little direction, and zero filters whatsoever.  While this gets me into trouble often, I actually really like this about myself.  Mostly, I like it because it seems like Grandma Nana was the same way.

2.       A positive attitude can almost always improve a situation. Listen, smile, and breathe.

3.       Meditation, yoga and kickboxing are amazing.

4.       I have the ass of a black chick!

5.       Music is a great way to bring people together.  Thugs, Gs, girls from the village, boys from the town, everyone can rock out to M’Bop.

6.       Accountability is a really important facet of running a school, and somehow, you have to create a community where people… want (maybe that’s not the right word… are proud?) to take responsibility for their actions.  Ownership of activities, places and tasks is a huge part of developing this pride and love of the job. I’m sure this is my western view on the school I am working in, but I feel like it’s a really important lesson to remember for when I go back state side.  Now I just have to learn how to function in the system which is here, while I’m here, because I’m clearly not going to change it by myself.

7.       I know that I am by no means a full-fledged adult yet, but growing up is really fun!

I am so thankful to have another year of growth, teaching and learning in this beautiful country with so many wonderful people.

Learners and Leadership

I love each and every one of my learners.  Each of them is my favourite for some reason or other.  240 favourite people who are learning from me and are in my care.  I feel so honoured that they trust me to take care of them, love them, and teach them in the best ways I know how, and that they are helping teach me to become a more calm and loving person.  I help them find, learn from and improve on their flaws, and they graciously return the favour.  We got on that way. Making mistakes, learning and fixing together. 

I see leadership as being someone perhaps with more experience guiding from behind as others discover the pathway forward for themselves, knowing that they have someone from whom they can get directions if they get lost.  I am not a fan of making lists of negatives (Don't Run. Don't Dive in the Shallow End... etc).  Instead, I like lists of positives (Please walk. Please only dive after 10 feet depth... etc).  Doing this for leadership is really hard.  I'm learning a lot of things that I don't want to do as a leader of a classroom or other group of people.  But I will try to make a few positive statements about the kind of leader I want to be. 

• Only ask people to do things that you would do yourself, but for learning or extenuating circumstances, it is better for them to do them.  Do the dishes sometimes, sweep the floor sometimes, fill up your own water bottle, carry your own books.
• Accept help when it is offered, and know that having that help will broaden the scope of what you are doing.
• Leave the office to see things in motion.
• Provide everyone in your structure with concrete, clear job descriptions and opportunities to clarify that description and expectations.
• Do. Your. Job. All the time.
• Know everyone. All. The. Time.

That last one brings me to my immediate inspiration for writing this post.  My learners.  I love them all so, so much.

1. The one who is so young, and so clearly still in need of motherly attention. I want to put him in my pocket.
2. The one who wants to be involved in everything I am involved in, and who has become my shadow. Seriously. He thinks he can sneak up on me when I'm marking papers in my classroom. Tries almost daily. (He succeeded once. Never again!)
3. The four who are really more like friends than learners, and I probably get way more relaxed with them than I should.  But if they were a few years older/not any older but just not a learner, I'd totally be friends with them! They are my rocks.
4. The one who is so loving and observant that I avoid him when I'm upset because he'll ask what's wrong and I just can't look him in his sweet face and say that everything is fine when sometimes I'm only hanging on by a thread.  He'll just come share a chair with me on those days.
5. The one who is so caring for those in her class and all around her. The sweetest smile I have ever seen, and she stays up late when people are sick to keep them company/check on them.
6. The one who wants desperately to be a mature woman, but also just loves Disney Channel, so tries to emulate that weird mix of adult/child that only Disney Channel can create.
7. The one who was so depressed because she didn't know she was a good person.
8. The ones who are trouble makers. I just love my four loud boys who never shut up. I love their ADHD tendencies.
9. The girl who has a major ego, which obviously stems from both her upbringing in a family that doesn't value tribal diversity of the country and her brilliance. She's too good for these... people. Ugh.
10. The one who writes poetry and is otherwise quiet.
11. The one who writes poetry and never shuts up.
12. The flamboyant boy who has the strut.
13. The young men who flirt with all the girls, but actually have this immense fear of both girls and the future. (These are the same ones who say "As you wish" to me... still)
14. The one who wears chains and walks like a g, but also spoke very sweetly about the father figure in a play.
15. The one who comes from a very rural village from a very isolated tribe and works so hard to catch up to the rest of the learners.
16. The one who asks me for help with study skills so that she can improve her marks.
17. The ones who play the game they designed to review for a subject when they have study time.
18. The one who sucks up to all the teachers, but tries to reap the rewards too soon. She came into the middle of a different class during the 5th week of school, came straight up to me because she had a paper cut.  Dude, don't interrupt my class with that. But you're cute and obviously I love you!  Now go away.
19. The one who always asks me about books and myths.
20. The one who is always trying to help, but never tries to reap any rewards from it.
21. The one who is so competitive and talented. He stole the stage acting as an older teacher; I think he was channelling one of the teachers here.
22. The one who wants to be an astronaut.
23. The ones who think they can smile their way out of anything.  And they usually make me laugh. So they do get out of many things that way.
24. The one who uses dictionary words all the time. "Have a stupendous day, Miss." "Miss, thank you for being so accommodating and candid." "Miss, don't let our antics delay you. Clearly, you are flabbergasted."
25. The one who wouldn't eat at the beginning of the year, hoping that we would send her home, and her friends who got her to eat in those first days, and who now all laugh and play and study together.
26. The one who cried non-stop for the first week here who is now completely adjusted and one of the most friendly and loved learners.
27. The learner who really turned his act around 180 degrees after first term. He was causing so many problems, but now is such a strong leader in his class.

I could go on and on for another 200 learners. Each face

Mustard Seeds

"Faith is a mustard seed," Jesus told us (I think it was Jesus... Anyway... a representative of God said that once). That is so true.  It's also true of almost every other emotion, feeling or action.  Give someone a small opportunity for leadership, and with proper TLC, that leadership can take root in that person, so that a leadership tree sprouts from their ears.  Give someone a little bit of love, and that love will grow within that person--both for themselves and for others.  Humans are remarkable creatures, and this idea that we can take just a little hint of some emotion, feeling or action from others and grow and create our own shows me how incredibly interconnected we are. 

Working with kids, you get to see this ten hundred times a day.  "Johannes, can you collect the papers, please?" "Hey Teresa, great job on your art project!" "Douglas, thank you so much for your focus in class today!" "Thank you so much for giving me your attention right away Simon!" "Jason, your smile is infectious! Thanks for bringing it to class." "Juliette, you are such a good friend." Watch the seeds grow.  A hug for a fourteen year old can save her life.  It's inspiring and terrifying to see just how much of an effect these small phrases can have on young people. 

Because unfortunately, fear and animosity are also like mustard seeds.  Just a little bit of these demonstrated or created by teachers will also grow inside a learner, if it's allowed to.  And this can lead to these learners fearing creativity, non-self, change and authority. It can create these vicious cycles, where once adulthood is reached, these feelings are taken out on the kids--a "this happened to me, and I hated it, so now I'm going to do it to you" mentality, instead of a "how can I make things better for you, this time around?" one.  Now you've got an environment which isn't safe or conducive to learning, because it's full of fear and anger. 

It's the job of the teacher not to let their emotions run them.  It's our job to ensure a positive and safe learning environment for the learners, no matter how you feel about a co-worker or even the kids themselves.  It's a teacher's job to love our learners no matter what.  I'm not saying it's our job to coddle them; consequences for actions are extremely necessary for learning and correction of behaviour.  Planting the seeds of self-love, positivity and growth is our job.

Grade 11s studying seeders

Grade 8s watching transplanting

Positivity Revisited

This term has been pretty positive! The school is getting its feet underneath it, and we're starting to walk forward.  It's pretty awesome.  My only major issue with things has been how discipline is handled here.  I am very lucky, in that no teachers at my school hit learners, and the principal is serious about consequences being directly linked to the problem behaviour.  But teachers here are so negative in their approach to effecting changes in learners' behaviour.  In my experience, this is a major waste of energy, time and soul.  I've been super lucky with positive reinforcements and creating more intrinsic desire to be good.  So as explained, one of the troubled classes has been writing down three positive things they could have done instead of a negative behaviour.  It's been working really well, the class teachers are totally on board with the idea, and the class's behaviour has improved 10 fold! The class teacher was reading through the notes today and found this one.  I almost cried it made me so happy.  My heart melted.  It reads:

"Keep it positive as our lovely teacher said. (Miss Mayer Rachel) We congratulate you, our leader, May God bless you for changing our class, if you were not there we could have suffered. We thank you miss! Thank you thank you. Our favourite teacher! YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST! We salute you comrade! Keep it growing! Best wishes for you!"

The power of positivity and a calm, purposeful but loving tone.

In the famous words of Legally Blonde: The Musical "Keep it Positive!"

There is a class at our school which has been labelled as "The Bad Class." This class has quite a number of behavioural problems each day and constantly are being punished and yelled at. With good reason. They make fun of each other, hurt each others feelings, and all around make a lot more noise than is necessary during study times, when silence is expected.  So they get punishments like extra cleaning, staying late or essay writing, as well as stern talkings to.  And teachers know this class, going in. And there in-lies the problem--their negative behaviour has created all sorts of constant negative thoughts about the class. 

And the class thinks about themselves negatively.  They call each other names, mutter about how "Oh it's our class. How could we ever be alright?" or talk about each other in other languages that not everyone speaks. 

So I felt some inspiration to change this negative energy.  Inspired by both New Girl's douche jar and the "knotholes for a swear" from summer camp, I combined the two for the "Positivity Jar."  Say something negative? Write three positive things you could have done or said and put it in the jar.

Changing the negative to positive from the inside out.  The other class teacher and the student council member responsible for the class are both behind it, and I'm going to leading personalities in the class individually to get them to support it as well.

I've got high, positive hopes for this!

Phobias: Asking for help

When I was in the seventh grade, I didn't understand trigonometry on the first day we learned it.  I was confused about how to start to solve a homework problem, and for the last few minutes of class, we had to complete two homework problems and show them to the teacher to leave. We were allowed to work in groups.  A kid named Nick showed me how to answer the question, and walked a few of us through it.  I wrote down the answer. Then the teacher wanted me to show my work.  So instead of asking him (the teacher) for help, I turned back to Nick, and to this day, I promise the words that came out of my mouth were, "Hey can you show me how to start the problem again?" while looking at his paper. I was asking a classmate for help, and the teacher thought I was cheating. The teacher flipped out.  I had to sign "The Book" three times, and I thought that meant detention (turns out five times=detention-graduated detention free). I was mortified and terrified and thought my life was over.

I associate that moment in my life with my fear of asking for help.  I don't know if it comes from before that, so that's why I didn't want to ask the teacher, or if it came from asking Nick for help and then having a grown man yell at me six inches from my face, but I HATE asking for help. It terrifies me.  I feel like a nuisance and like I am incompetent.  I know that this is foolish, and have been working on it for ages. Professors and employers of mine have heard the story above, and graciously and wonderfully helped me ask for help. But this is still a journey. 

And so, in Namibia, I find myself in a system where everything needs to go through committees and through management offices.  In my head, this plays out as asking for help, so this often turns into my worst nightmare! It means that to get things done, I have to go against my natural instinct to fend for myself all the time.  Problems get solved more slowly here, but by more people.  It works, but it is so different from everything I know in my own experience that it often seems impossible.

But I am here to learn how that works.  And I am trying.  So teachers and learners of RVS, thank you very much for bearing with me while I learn how to ask for help in the way expected here.  Thank you so much for your patience as I face one of my biggest fears every day with this. I love you all very, very much, and I appreciate you.

Hope

Term 2 was rough.  It was busy; it was chaotic; it was filled with cultural and personal clashes; it was filled with role discovery, role changing; it was hard; it is over. 

Term 3 will be hard.  It will be filled with schedule clashes; it will have meetings that go on forever; it will be future-defining for learners; it will be evaluative; it will be good.  Teachers have been hard at work for a solid week now, and we are already getting into the swing of things.  I am super impressed at how well everyone here has hit the ground running with lessons, planning and we're already starting assessing learners on our bi-weekly schedule.  Files are submitted, schemes of work are complete, and the management of this school is doing everything in its power to empower teachers for the second round of evaluation from the head office of the ministry this term.

Learners are participating in a drama, we've gotten the sports program going already, and entertainment programming has started rolling in to the committee for approval.  We've set our goals in Life Skills, and now we're moving into communication skills.  Listening, calm communication and compromising.  From there we're moving into sex ed, and I couldn't be more excited!

Bring. It. On. Term. 3!

Taking on Namibia part 2: Ft. Hannah Montana

Day 12: HANNAH!!! HANNAH! Your flight was cancelled! and then delayed.  But we found you!!! YAY!!!! Now quick! We were going to give you some relaxing time in Windhoek to get coffee and shower and all that, but never mind! Pack up the car, it's off to Etosha, cause we have to make it there by sunset, or the gates will be locked. Let's go, go, go! 
Phew! Made it.  Now there's relaxing time at the camp site... Gnocchi and pesto for dinner, wine by the flood lit watering hole with Abby and her sister and Hannah equivalent (bff from college. Mini-Ithaca reunion and LIONS!!!!!! and bed time for Hannah and Rachel. Flying and driving take a lot out of us. 

Day 13: We drove up through Etosha and saw SO MANY ANIMALS! Rhinos, leopard, hyena, elephants, zebras, giraffes, antelope, kudu, springbok, wildebeests, warthogs, birds, oryx... the list goes on and on.

 

We arrived at the campsite in the north, and made campfire pizza. Unfortunately, the watering hole at that site was much less bumpin', but it did mean an early night, which was nice. 

 

Day 14: Before leaving Etosha, we checked out a watering hole, which WAS bumpin' and narrated animals' lives for a while.  Then we headed out to Jamie's place! Lunch at Zebro's in Oshikati was delicious! Chicken and various salads for me, chicken burgers for the other ladies.  We went to Pick-and-Pay (time #1) for delectables for dinner, and Amarulla for dessert.  We also got ice cream. Whatever. We ate a lot. Jenn made hummus for dinner, and we all loved it! Upon arrival at Jamie's, we had some chore time: did some mending, lesson planning, car cleaning and washing.

 

Day 15: We hit up the Ongwediva Trade Fair with Jamie's friend Kristy.  Delicious meat (though not actual kapana), mupane worms (made me gag, but Hannah liked them), traditional breads and marulla jam. Also all kinds of sweets.  We got LOTS of stuff, which I will not list here, as it will probably end up being presents for a lot of you, dear readers.  That night, we went to Rocha's Portuguese restaurant for dinner, and checked out Paulson's (Jamie's co-teacher's) bar.  Pretty standard shabeen experience, with lots of guys and very few ladies. Paulson and his family did a nice job taking care of us, and we were home well before we turned into pumpkins!

 

Day 16: Good byes were said by all :(  We left Jamie's pretty early, and returned the car to Tsumeb, where my directional skills FINALLY kicked in and I found the rental place lickity split.  Goodbye, dear friend. I miss you! N157396W, you'll be in my heart forever. Hiking back to Divundu was actually a breeze, as hiking goes! Free hiked Tsumeb to Grootfontain, then a combi/van to Rundu (could have stopped less, but whatever. Got there in plenty of time!), then we found a combi going to Katima Malilo, which dropped us in Divundu, but made ZERO OTHER STOPS. For those of you who've hiked from Rundu to Divundu in a combi before, you know how huge this is. Zero dirt road.  Hannah and I arrived safe and sound at my flat, and the kids arrive the next day!! YAY! We had ... something for dinner, but I don't remember what.

 

Day 17: The kids are back in town!! YAY! Hannah and I helped register incoming learners with other teachers.  I was so smiley it was a bit ridiculous. The kids must think I'm insane.  Hannah and I also baked cookies and made pizza for a pre-birthday dinner. 

 

Day 18: Birthday and classes.  School started! Hannah came to all of the classes, and we had question time.  The kids loved asking her about celebrities she's met and what she thinks of Namibia.  She did a wonderfully eloquent job of answering questions and being loving and caring toward all of the kids I love and care about so much.

 

Day 19: Hannah hiked out to Rundu in the afternoon to catch her bus from there to Windhoek.  Goodbye my dear!! Love you!!! I am so incredibly lucky to have a friend like you! So that you can bring me things :-) Now for me, it's work work work!!! This term is going to be great; I've got a feeling!

 

(today) she's arrived safely back at home after a stop in London.